Many are distraught and and deeply concerned after Pope Francis announced late Monday that he would be the very last Pope. The message, which has left many people feeling lost and confused, came as a shock to most.
“There comes a time when we must admit to the general public that we made up religion to get humans past the dark times in the world, but now we believe that everyone should be strong enough to stand on their own,” uttered Francis.
“In fact, I feel like we waited too long to do this. With the vast majority of wars being caused by religion and people thinking that they can fix problems by just speaking to literally-no-one-whatsoever, we decided that it was time to pull the veil from many people’s eyes.”
Indeed with more and more people being atheist, Pope Francis decided to ride the logic trend and help the world as a whole.
“Sure, there are many charitable organization and great support platforms that have come from religion, but we just felt bad seeing what was happening in the world. We had to face the fact that we were lying to everyone for so long, plus people were starting to figure it out. In a way, this is my act of contrition by revealing the truth,” said Francis.
Francis finished his speech in an uplifting manner – hoping that people would find some solace in reality.
“For those of you still hung up on it, I say this – It’s tough love, but get over yourself. You live once, then you die. If you can’t be a good person without a made up religion, then I don’t know what to tell you. There’s beauty everywhere. Look at a meteor shower, NASA photos, evolution, art, music, love…. Just everything… take it in, enjoy it, make it, learn from it, help one another. It’s kind of more beautiful and bittersweet to realize what reality really is and accept it or improve upon it. Cherish this life, because it’s all that you will get.”
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YOU ARE A SATANIST! I AGREE WITH LL AND I LAUGH AT YOUR NUTS! ( at least I think that’s what s/he said.) Bring those nuts here and I’ll laugh at them every time! Anyhoo, really interesting take/concept. I see a film script addressing how religious people would implode with this announcement and how fake Jesus’s would pop up everywhere to fill the gap and there would be…wars! Of course wars! What is religion (and humans) without war and imposition of one’s belief onto others? I’ll go and take my meds now. Hopefully at least one of your commenters *cough* will follow suit.
people should aspire to do good things,, be good people not because a punishment is coming if they are not, but to be a better person! Thanks I found this article funny, and a bit thought provoking! Its nice to see a like mind!
Shame on you, “Poop Francis”! You are a disgrace to the office you hold! You have utterly destroyed the faith of my father and mother and of SO many people around the world!
How dare you get into bed with Satan and claim that God doesn’t exist! Why don’t you just climb into bed with the Antichrist Obama, you false prophet? Thank you for showing me the real reason why I left the Catholic Church….. because it’s full of hypocrites like you!
Signed, an ecstatically happy EX-
Catholic
You tell ’em Richard!
L.L you are blind, god was created by man.
WOW SOMEONE WHO WROTE THIS IS VERY BLIND. GOD IS REAL. THE CATHOLIC RELIGION IS FAKE FOR SURE, BUT THE BIBLE WHICH CATHOLICS DO NOT FOLLOW IS 100% ACCURATE AND TRUE.
YOUR TRIAD IS STUPID. NO ONE FOLLOWS LAWS UNLESS THERE IS A HIGHER POWER MAKING THEM. YOUR FAIRY TALES DO NOT EXIST OF MAN BEING GOOD AND DOING GOOD FOR NO REASON, GET BRAIN HELP. YOUR CLEARLY NOT IN REALITY. WE LAUGH AT YOU, YOUR NUTS
PLUS VERY LOW IQ.
I agree.
I certainly couldn’t behave without threats of hellfire!
You’re stupid, the bible is 100% crap and fake, if there is a god he is most defiantly not a christian. You for sure do not follow the bible, and dumbass, your IQ is very low in your sentence it’s you’re not your.
Catholics follow the New Testament, the part that chronicles Jesus. In their Bible, the things that Jesus said are in red letters. Study up before you puke up stupidity. And I’m not even a Catholic!
Obviously your writing in ALL CAPITALS will help immensely, you know make it easier for them to get over their blindness and see your point, which was um?
Oh that’s right you didn’t have one, get a life dickhead who the fuck do you think forced Beethoven to write music or van Gogh to paint, who forced Faraday to uncover the magic of a rainbow if it was a higher power why didn’t it do those things? If you are incapable of doing anything greater than what you have been shown then I guess you do need to follow a higher power, maybe I’m not capable of it or maybe I am but just haven’t been in the right situation yet. It doesn’t really matter, if I don’t do it someone else might, but I’m going to give it every chance I get and not because someone is directing me to, but just because I want to and can try. And I’m glad that when I have succeeded in doing something that pleased me I didn’t have to go on about some higher power helping me.
I love this blog not because it is witty or accurate or even true, I read it to find moronic comments which I can reply to, it’s kind of like that satisfying feeling you getting pulling a weed out from between a couple of nice little tomato plants.