(Atlanta, GA) An elderly woman was forcibly removed from a United Airlines flight after refusing to remove her religious garb upon repeated requests from concerned passengers and flight attendants. In a near immediate response, Donald Trump tweeted and gave approval for the TSA to ban all passengers from flying if they dress like the suspect who is now in detainment.

“My fellow Americans, today our brave men and – I’m guessing that’s a women,” Trump said while pointing at a misty-eyed Sarah Huckabee Sanders. “These brave… uh people from United Airlines thwarted… that’s right they – thhwaarted.” Trump dramatically enunciated.

“That’s: ‘T-H-WAR-LYING-T-E-D-TED!’ They thwarted a horrible, horrible radical Muslim terror plot,” proclaimed Trump. “It would have been horrifying, just horrible. The worst. Think 9-11 times 100. Yes, folks that’s 91,100. Basically, all the worst parts of the bible,” Trump stated in a clear flexing of his mathematical prowess.

“The TSA now stands for Teaching, Stupid, Arabs because this one really learned a hard lesson. Didn’t she?” said Trump. “But I say, ‘Not today, not tomorrow, not on my WATCH people!’ Got it? Did you get it? If not, you will, and they will. Everyone will. Everyone. Everyone should buy a watch on my online store,” concluded Trump.

 [Suspect shown in Guantanamo Bay Chapel where she spends most days]         No defense has come from anyone who may know the suspect, who still refuses to speak, but has scrolled the odd words “cloistered nun” on paper – an action that landed her in solitary confinement for 3 days. [Photo By: Hugh Hunter – No Endorsement implied]

 

 
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