Tag: Satire news
Rittenhouse Judge Caught Tucking Kyle In At Night, Reading Him Bedtime Stories
Poll: Many Trump Voters Support Seceding From The United States
A recent poll from the Center for Politics at the University of Virginia says that a majority of Trump voters at least “somewhat” support the idea of seceding from the United States. Here’s what people are saying. “Would they secede … Continue reading Poll: Many Trump Voters Support Seceding From The United States
Republicans Continue To Expertly Troll Democrats By Purposely Being Wrong About Everything
A leaked memo from the office of Senator Ted Cruz has revealed that the Republican Party leaders don’t actually believe in much of what they say or do. When reached for comment, Cruz had some shocking things to say. “Let … Continue reading Republicans Continue To Expertly Troll Democrats By Purposely Being Wrong About Everything
‘Instagram Kids’ Cancelled After Matt Gaetz Obtains Beta Testing Profile
Facebook announced today that the company will be halting its creation of the new ‘Instagram Kids’ platform after discovering that Florida representative Matt Gaetz – who is under investigation for sex trafficking and sex with a minor – had somehow … Continue reading ‘Instagram Kids’ Cancelled After Matt Gaetz Obtains Beta Testing Profile
9 Easy Ways To Convince Anti-Vaxxers To Get ‘The Jab’
There are several simple ways to encourage anti-vaxxers to finally take the shot and help us get out of this pandemic. Slideshow: Main photo credit: Marco Verch Continue reading 9 Easy Ways To Convince Anti-Vaxxers To Get ‘The Jab’
Joe Rogan Takes Ivermectin, Records First Podcast Where He Spews Bullshit Out Of Both Ends
Popular podcast host Joe Rogan told fans Wednesday that he has tested positive for COVID. Rogan made the announcement in an online video after he came home from doing shows in Florida; a state overrun by the virus. Rogan confirmed … Continue reading Joe Rogan Takes Ivermectin, Records First Podcast Where He Spews Bullshit Out Of Both Ends
Texans Leave Hundreds Of Unwanted Babies On Governor Abbott’s Front Porch
Texas Governor Greg Abbott recently signed a bill into law that prevents abortions after the sixth week of pregnancy – much sooner than most women even know that they are pregnant. That law went into effect today. Under the law, … Continue reading Texans Leave Hundreds Of Unwanted Babies On Governor Abbott’s Front Porch
ESPN Airs An Hour Of Horses Fornicating Before Realizing It Wasn’t The Colts vs. Broncos Game
Experts Say Letting U.S. Be Engulfed In Flames Would End COVID Across Country
Climate and infectious disease experts released a study today saying that in order to completely eradicate COVID-19 from the country that the government could simply burn all 2.27 billion acres of land that makes up the United States of America. Scientists … Continue reading Experts Say Letting U.S. Be Engulfed In Flames Would End COVID Across Country
63% Of Republicans Believe Majority Of COVID Deaths Actually Just Mislabeled Skydiving accidents
Man Who Works In The Trades Favorite Pastime Is Telling Everyone To Get A Job In The Trades
MILWAUKEE, WI – Local man and proud welder Joseph Stallsworth says that his favorite pastime is telling anyone who will listen to go out and get a job in the trades. “It doesn’t matter if we are complete strangers or … Continue reading Man Who Works In The Trades Favorite Pastime Is Telling Everyone To Get A Job In The Trades
Ben & Jerry’s To Release New Israeli-Palestinian Conflict Ice Cream That’s Just Chocolate & Vanilla That Refuses To Mix
Known for dabbling in politics, ice cream company Ben & Jerry’s is set to release a new ‘Israeli-Palestinian Conflict’ flavor that’s just chocolate and vanilla that is impossible to mix together. “What you’re basically getting here is the choice to … Continue reading Ben & Jerry’s To Release New Israeli-Palestinian Conflict Ice Cream That’s Just Chocolate & Vanilla That Refuses To Mix
Tennessee GOP Okays Infanticide Via Polio & Measles By Stopping All Vaccine Outreach For Children
Tennessee Republicans made moves today to ensure that the state will no longer be advocating for children to get vaccinated – not just for COVID, but for any diseases – such as HPV, polio and measles. Health experts are saying … Continue reading Tennessee GOP Okays Infanticide Via Polio & Measles By Stopping All Vaccine Outreach For Children
Apologetic Boeing Recalls All 787 Aircrafts After Inspection Reveals Planes To Be Lacking Wings, Engines
Quick Facts Boeing has been plagued with recent failures including electrical issues on the 737 Max that caused two deadly crashes killing 346 people. At least 17 of the 787’s were equipped with a single rear engine and no wings … Continue reading Apologetic Boeing Recalls All 787 Aircrafts After Inspection Reveals Planes To Be Lacking Wings, Engines
Karen Has Crazy Meltdown In Store After Manager Is Unable To Tell Her What Victoria’s Secret Is
Hacked: Amazon Crashes After Intern Opens Phishing Email From Jeff.Bezos69@Amazon.net
Would-be shoppers were suddenly unable to complete purchases from Amazon on Sunday night after an intern opened a phishing email from hackers. Sources inside Amazon have confirmed that the intern has been demoted to unpaid warehouse worker. “He opened an … Continue reading Hacked: Amazon Crashes After Intern Opens Phishing Email From Jeff.Bezos69@Amazon.net
Unimpressed: Richard Branson Said He Was ‘Over Space’ Only Seconds Into Weightlessness
Sources are reporting that billionaire Richard Branson quickly became bored with today’s space flight just seconds after passengers began experiencing weightlessness. “The spaceship was at the top of its flight path, 50-plus miles high, suspended in weightlessness while allowing the … Continue reading Unimpressed: Richard Branson Said He Was ‘Over Space’ Only Seconds Into Weightlessness