Joe Biden has reportedly agreed to hire Elizabeth Warren to cleanse the White House with sage before moving in. The decision comes after Warren reached out to the Bidens yesterday, telling them that she was concerned the building needed “an … Continue reading Bidens Hire Elizabeth Warren to Sage White House Before Move In
“The $85 billion we save a year will go toward green energy, education, infrastructure and ending homelessness in America.” Continue reading Congress Passes Resolution to Completely Ignore Middle East
“Have they considered powering these windmills with coal?” Continue reading Texans Question Their Masculinity As State Begins Using More Wind Energy Than Coal
“Who cares if you can’t wash the smell off, you’ve saved an orangutan!” Continue reading Greenpeace Tells Americans: “Wipe Your Butts With Your Hands”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t get that,” Siri apologized as a wide-eyed Cook choked on a chunk of the XS Max. Continue reading Tim Cook Swallows an Entire iPhone XS Max to Prove It’s Environmentally Friendly
Mr. Cox has locked Eric Trump in the White House’s cold storage room next to the bowling alley in an attempt to show that air pollution does not harm humans. Continue reading Eric Trump is Currently Locked in a Room That’s Being Pumped Full of Pollution
“America leads the world in pretty much everything awesome, there’s no need to even research that because everyone knows it. Fact. Period. Soaring eagles. End of story. But, did you know that…” Continue reading 6 More Ways America Leads The World
