Representatives from the Green Bay Packers organization have admitted to the press that quarterback Aaron Rodgers’ helmet was custom made with a thick tin foil liner at his request. The team says that Rodgers wears the tin foil helmet in … Continue reading Aaron Rodgers’ Helmet Liner Completely Made Of Tin Foil
Leaked documents from Facebook headquarters reveal that the corporation will be officially changing its name to “Company” next Thursday. Many people are pointing out that the name change will make it nearly impossible to search for news about the company … Continue reading Facebook To Change Their Name To ‘Company’ – Making It Hard To Google Bad News About Them
Washington State football head coach Nick Rolovich has been fired from his role after refusing to comply with a mandate requiring state educational employees to get the COVID vaccine by October 18th. Rolovich and four other coaches will all be … Continue reading Fired Anti-vaxx Football Coach Will Now ‘Stand Up For Himself’ In The Unemployment Line
Comedian Dave Chappelle is attempting to legitimize his new Netflix comedy special that focused almost entirely on disparaging transgender individuals. Chappelle gave a brief statement today. “Some minority groups haven’t suffered enough for me,” Chappelle grinned while taking a puff … Continue reading Trans People Not Oppressed Enough To Be Left Alone By Dave Chappelle
The long-running, popular American TV game show Wheel of Fortune has updated its iconic wheel by replacing the ‘Bankruptcy’ slot with ‘DEATH.’ Due to the changes, players will now have a 1 in 24 chance of being executed by host … Continue reading Wheel Of Fortune Adds ‘Death Slot’ After Seeing Success Of Squid Game
Facebook announced today that the company will be halting its creation of the new ‘Instagram Kids’ platform after discovering that Florida representative Matt Gaetz – who is under investigation for sex trafficking and sex with a minor – had somehow … Continue reading ‘Instagram Kids’ Cancelled After Matt Gaetz Obtains Beta Testing Profile
Boosie Badazz has been completely obsessed with fellow rapper Lil Nas X ever since the young star gained fame with his hit songs ‘Old Town Road’ and ‘MONTERO,’ but last night Boosie took it a step too far. Lil Nas … Continue reading Boosie Served Restraining Order After Showing Up To Lil Nas X home With A Boombox
Popular podcast host Joe Rogan told fans Wednesday that he has tested positive for COVID. Rogan made the announcement in an online video after he came home from doing shows in Florida; a state overrun by the virus. Rogan confirmed … Continue reading Joe Rogan Takes Ivermectin, Records First Podcast Where He Spews Bullshit Out Of Both Ends
Fast food restaurants are fully-staffed once again after popular porn site Only Fans announced today that it will no longer be allowing sexual content on their platform. Here’s what people are saying: McDonald’s photo credit Paul Sableman Continue reading Fast Food Restaurants Back To Being Fully-Staffed After Only Fans Bans Sexual Content
The 2020 US Census came out today and it shows a decline in the white population for the first time since 1790. In response to the census news, Oprah Winfrey is reportedly celebrating with a huge party. Notably, Oprah had … Continue reading Oprah Throws Party To Celebrate 2020 census Showing Decline In White Population
The NFL announced that it will be taking a more firm stance against taunting this season, including trash talking and making certain gestures toward opposing players. In addition to the tightening of the rule, the league will also continue to … Continue reading NFL’S Ban On Taunting Leaves Fans Unsure How To Teach Kids To Mock & Jeer At Others
The NFL released guidelines today informing teams that COVID-19 outbreaks among unvaccinated players could lead to forfeited games in the upcoming football season. Some people are saying that the move is basically a mandate for players to get vaccinated. The … Continue reading NFL Pushes For Vaccinations: ‘We’d Prefer Our Players Die From Head Trauma In Retirement’
The Tokyo Olympics are providing athletes who will stay in the Olympic Village with cardboard beds that many say are designed to discourage sex. The beds, which can handle up to 400 pounds of pressure, are certainly not made for … Continue reading ‘Anti-Sex’ Cardboard Beds Installed In Olympic Village To Prevent Athletes From Having Intercourse
There are plenty of ways to pass the time in rural America while you wait for your streaming services to buffer – and none of them will break the bank! These cheap, tried and true solutions can be a great … Continue reading 5 Things Rural Americans Can Do While They Wait For Netflix™ To Buffer
The anti-food waste company Too Good To Go sells food that’s left over, or won’t be sold, through their app. The food, which comes from restaurants, bakeries and grocery stores, is delivered as a surprise grab bag of food that … Continue reading App Lets Eco-Conscious Users Buy Leftovers Instead Of Just Giving Food To The Homeless
