Users of the popular gay dating and hookup app ‘Grindr’ have reported that Vice President Mike Pence had a countdown to impeachment on his profile that only remained visible for a few minutes. One user managed to snap a screen shot of Pence’s profile before it was changed. Later the two men met at the vice president’s home in Washington D.C. whereupon Pence gave the man a rusty trombone for nearly 4 hours while masterfully performing several patriotic songs with his lips. Advertisements
Vice President Mike Pence had president Trump revoke the pardons for two male turkeys that were set free yesterday after learning they’d stayed together in a room at the luxe Willard Intercontinental Hotel the previous night. The reversal marks the first time that the turkeys weren’t spared since the White House tradition began in 1989. After the turkeys were slain, Pence took them home to stuff and serve at his Thanksgiving dinner. As of press time it’s unclear whether or not the Vice President will stick his head in the oven as well.
An attempt to clue the Vice President in using his teleprompter backfired; resulting in Pence aggressively shouting “There’s a tail sticking out of your ass” in the middle of an impassioned speech on moral decay in America.
Trump starts gagging and declares that ‘the golden juice went down the wrong pipe!’
“These kids aren’t fully investing themselves in the vibrant artistic expression and riveting stories.” – Jane Meyers, Head of Stanford’s Sex & Gender Studies
On Thursday night, Vice President Mike Pence walked up to Donald Trump just outside of the White House Kitchen and “straight up dropped the motherfucker” with a right hook. An hour later at press time Pence was seen entering the The Crew Club – a famous Washington D.C. gay bathhouse. “Obviously nothing matters anymore, so I’m going to do what-evahhh-the-fuck-I waaant,” sassed Pence before making a hair flipping motion, yelling, “Swish Swish Bish!” and turning to strut inside. Thank you for reading our latest informative news article. Check out more stories below – or like our Facebook page.