Tag: campaign
A Beaver trapped Elizabeth Warren in the corner of her Indianapolis campaign office for four hours
A wild beaver somehow managed to sneak into one of Elizabeth Warren’s campaign headquarters and corner the presidential front runner for over four hours this morning. Warren says she’s doing fine and that this wasn’t her first encounter with a … Continue reading A Beaver trapped Elizabeth Warren in the corner of her Indianapolis campaign office for four hours
Un-Holy Cow! Chick-fil-A ads get dirty after KFC introduces sexy Colonel Sanders
Fast food chains have lost their minds and Chick-fil-A is no exception. Just yesterday Kentucky Fried Chicken revealed a hot, young and sexy Colonel Sanders and now Chick-fil-A is putting it all on the table with its new “Eat Mor … Continue reading Un-Holy Cow! Chick-fil-A ads get dirty after KFC introduces sexy Colonel Sanders
Somewhat vigilant Americans order last round of breadsticks before boycotting Olive Garden
After learning that Olive Garden’s parent company donates to the Trump campaign, liberals everywhere are asking for one last tinfoil bag of over-salted, buttery goodness before never setting foot in the glorified salad bar again. As of press time, boycotters … Continue reading Somewhat vigilant Americans order last round of breadsticks before boycotting Olive Garden
Trump fills empty seats at rallies with additional dummies
After being called out on social media for having small crowds, paid attendees, and empty seats at rallies, the Trump reelection campaign has taken to filling seats with additional dummies. “This is a smart move by the Trump campaign; matching … Continue reading Trump fills empty seats at rallies with additional dummies
Courageous Group is Taking Back the Swastika.
“I’m not sure why we’d give the swastika to one side over the other,” Trump stated. “If we’re trying to accept everyone, we need to start by including minority groups like the Klan in these discussions.” Continue reading Courageous Group is Taking Back the Swastika.
Greenpeace Tells Americans: “Wipe Your Butts With Your Hands”
“Who cares if you can’t wash the smell off, you’ve saved an orangutan!” Continue reading Greenpeace Tells Americans: “Wipe Your Butts With Your Hands”
Democrats to Occupy Wisconsin Until 2020 Election
“Milwaukee should brace itself for about 700 campaign rallies in the next 603 days.” – Gov. Tony Evers Continue reading Democrats to Occupy Wisconsin Until 2020 Election
Fired-Up Bernie Sanders Sprouts Huge Mustache During Campaign Rally
“I have never been more turned on in my life.” – Juliet Moore, Bernie Sanders Supporter Continue reading Fired-Up Bernie Sanders Sprouts Huge Mustache During Campaign Rally
Senator Cory Booker & Elmo Remind Americans: “Despite Incredibly Hot Beard, Ted Cruz is Still a Douche”
Booker’s 15 minute ventriloquism act included a perfectly performed impersonation of Sesame Street’s best-known character. Continue reading Senator Cory Booker & Elmo Remind Americans: “Despite Incredibly Hot Beard, Ted Cruz is Still a Douche”
Nervous Rick Perry Unsure How to Count, Put Complete Sentences Together
(Photo by Gage Skidmore. No endorsement implied) Former Presidential hopeful Rick Perry, who stumbled and fell short in his last run for President of the United States has announced that he is running again. However, shortly after his announcement, his … Continue reading Nervous Rick Perry Unsure How to Count, Put Complete Sentences Together
Hillary Clinton Unapologetically Disrespects Southerners
Many intelligent, right-wingers were not fooled by Clinton’s attempt to sound like one of them when she began to talk about things that they were not interested in. Continue reading Hillary Clinton Unapologetically Disrespects Southerners