We can’t have Canada smelling like burnt, used condoms anymore,” Prime Minister Justin Trudeau stated.
“If you can toss a plastic soda ring right around a turtle’s neck or ram a straw up their nose you win $100 in Uber ride credits.”
“It’s an odd hellscape where you can hear people scream as their bones crunch under your boots.”
“I can tell you how the world ends right now. We fart ourselves to death.” – Stanford Professor Böse Blahung
Mr. Cox has locked Eric Trump in the White House’s cold storage room next to the bowling alley in an attempt to show that air pollution does not harm humans.