Tag: nancy pelosi
Party-Curious Kyrsten Sinema Switches From Democrat To Independent Just To See What People Say Before Totally Coming Out As Republican
The very brave, former Democrat Krysten Sinema decided to admit to her colleagues today that she is, in fact, an independent. “This may come as a shock to some,” Sinema stated. “But I cannot be more honest when I say … Continue reading Party-Curious Kyrsten Sinema Switches From Democrat To Independent Just To See What People Say Before Totally Coming Out As Republican
Republicans Tricked Into Supporting Gun Control After Democrats Start Calling Mass Shootings ‘Post-Birth Abortions’
After offering no real solutions for mass shootings in America for decades, Republicans have now been tricked into supporting gun control laws after Democrats began calling mass shootings “post-birth abortions” yesterday. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi gave a brief … Continue reading Republicans Tricked Into Supporting Gun Control After Democrats Start Calling Mass Shootings ‘Post-Birth Abortions’
Trump Lawsuit Blocks Release Of Evidence He Claims Exonerates Him
Donald Trump filed a lawsuit today in an effort to block the National Archives from releasing documents about the January 6th insurrection to the congressional committee that is investigating the events of that day. Experts say that Trump’s claim of … Continue reading Trump Lawsuit Blocks Release Of Evidence He Claims Exonerates Him
Congress Passes Stimulus Approving 100, 6-Dollar Checks Per American
In a rare Sunday vote, Congress managed to pass a stimulus bill that will send one hundred $6 checks to every American. “Although we couldn’t agree on a higher amount, we did come to the conclusion that one hundred checks … Continue reading Congress Passes Stimulus Approving 100, 6-Dollar Checks Per American
Backdoor Business: Nancy Pelosi Caught Getting Anus Waxed Day After Blowout
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi was caught on back to back days having businesses in San Francisco illegally style and remove hair from both her head and her anus. Pelosi says that she was tricked into receiving both services … Continue reading Backdoor Business: Nancy Pelosi Caught Getting Anus Waxed Day After Blowout
Name Change: Fort Bragg Drops Last ‘G’ in Honor of Donald Trump
Democrats are taking heat after forcing a clandestine weekend vote today in which they managed to approve a minor name change to US Army base Fort Bragg; one of several US bases named after Confederate generals. “In honor of president … Continue reading Name Change: Fort Bragg Drops Last ‘G’ in Honor of Donald Trump
Nancy Pelosi, Democrats Tricked Into Wearing African Neck Rings, Septum Piercings
Just before unveiling a sweeping police reform bill in response to George Floyd’s murder and the resulting worldwide protests, Democrats caused an uproar when they decided to take a knee in the U.S. capitol while sporting African neck rings and … Continue reading Nancy Pelosi, Democrats Tricked Into Wearing African Neck Rings, Septum Piercings
Snowflakes Upset That Nancy Pelosi Tore Trump’s Speech Into Little Snowflakes
Countless Americans are up-in-arms after Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi took her copy of president Trump’s State of the Union speech and tore it into pieces. Pelosi says that compared to what the president has said and done that … Continue reading Snowflakes Upset That Nancy Pelosi Tore Trump’s Speech Into Little Snowflakes
Edging: Democrats plan to get Republicans very close to impeachment several times before finishing inside the Senate
Nancy Pelosi and fellow Democrats announced today that they plan to push forward with the collection of evidence in an effort to lube up Republicans across the aisle and get them to impeach president Trump. “We want to give them … Continue reading Edging: Democrats plan to get Republicans very close to impeachment several times before finishing inside the Senate
Witch Hunt: Democrats line up to stack rocks on a nude Donald Trump as impeachment nears a dramatic end
Hellbent on completing their witch hunt in a timely manner, Democrats showed up at Donald Trump’s rally in Battle Creek, Michigan tonight; torches in hand. The mob burst on stage, interrupting Trump who was honoring a military dog. The president … Continue reading Witch Hunt: Democrats line up to stack rocks on a nude Donald Trump as impeachment nears a dramatic end
Impeachment Explained: House Judiciary Committee holds a vote to vote on a vote for tomorrow’s impeachment vote after a preliminary vote today and Friday
Nancy Pelosi gave a briefing this morning explaining the remaining steps to impeaching president Donald Trump. “For those of you who aren’t clear, I wanted to lay out the next steps for the impeachment process,” a wide-eyed Pelosi stated. “Today … Continue reading Impeachment Explained: House Judiciary Committee holds a vote to vote on a vote for tomorrow’s impeachment vote after a preliminary vote today and Friday
Republicans kneel in protest during National Anthem at impeachment hearings
In a show of solidarity with president Trump, prominent Republican lawmakers made waves today when they took a knee during the national anthem. Republicans say they’re protesting the impeachment hearings in Washington DC because they are “un-American.” “When something so … Continue reading Republicans kneel in protest during National Anthem at impeachment hearings
Mitch McConnell Caught Using Taxpayer Money To Remodel His Terrarium
McConnell is being investigated by the US. Senate Ethics Committee for spending $127,000 on a new heat lamp system and gigantic basking rocks in his office. Continue reading Mitch McConnell Caught Using Taxpayer Money To Remodel His Terrarium
President Trump Has Invited Nick Sandmann to Stand Six Inches From His Face at the State of The Union Address
“Nick will be up there competing for the same oxygen supply as the President for roughly an hour.” Continue reading President Trump Has Invited Nick Sandmann to Stand Six Inches From His Face at the State of The Union Address