In a rare Sunday vote, Congress managed to pass a stimulus bill that will send one hundred $6 checks to every American.
“Although we couldn’t agree on a higher amount, we did come to the conclusion that one hundred checks would make a much bigger impact, visually speaking,” Nancy Pelosi stated. “So I hope your mailbox is big enough, because they’re all coming at once!”
Meanwhile president Trump called the bill “a huge step in the right direction.”
“If my math checks out, that’s $6,000 for every American citizen,” Trump smiled. “I asked for $2,000, I get $6,000!”
As of press time, the US Postal Service announced that the undertaking was literally impossible.
Photo credit Bjoertvedt