Billionaire Bill Gates is set to release a depressing new book next week titled ‘The Future Sucks: Why We Should Give Up Now’. Gates, who is typically known for his cautious optimism, says there’s no hope for humanity anymore. “If … Continue reading Bill Gates Says Everyone Must Eat Fake Meat By 2030 In New Book Titled ‘The Future Sucks: Why We Should Give Up Now’
An all-new epidemic has hit social media during COVID-19 and it’s dumber, yet somehow more complicated than baking and eating an entire loaf of sourdough bread. Presenting the charcuterie board! Charcuterie boards are glorified Lunchables for adults. They’re stupid planks … Continue reading Hot COVID Trends: Taking Pictures of Scraps of Food On a Wooden Plank
After decades or targeting the homosexual chicken community, Chick-fil-A says they’ll no longer actively source LGBTQ fowl to serve in their restaurants. The announcement comes as a shock to many, as the company had never mentioned the practice before. Meanwhile, … Continue reading Chick-fil-A says they’ll stop exclusively killing and serving gay chickens
Tyson Foods announced their new line of raw, meat-based ice cream products at a press conference today outside of their Springdale, Arkansas headquarters. The company, which is the largest seller of ground meat products in the United States, says the … Continue reading Tyson Foods releases new line of meat-based ice cream
Whole Foods locations are teeming with loose chickens after Tyson Chicken farms forgot to slaughter the animals before shipping out nearly 2 million birds to the stores. “Admittedly, we missed some steps,” Tyson Foods CEO Donnie Smith stated. Meanwhile, Whole … Continue reading Whole Foods overrun with live chickens after supplier forgets to kill them before delivering to stores
“We’re not sure where they come from, I have not clue how people are accidentally bringing them home, but we’re not – under any circumstance – accepting any returns.” Continue reading Duped at the deli counter? How to avoid coming home with a newborn baby again
“It’s safe to say that most residents of the state of Mississippi have been vegetarian, or close to it, since 2009.” – Governor Phil Bryant Continue reading Mississippi Has Been Feeding Its Unsuspecting Residents Vegan, Plant-Based Protein Since 2009
“We sell the meat to Taco Bell, send a bunch of parts to candy factories and use the rest to make high-end huffing glue.” Continue reading What Happens to the 19 Dead Horses After the Kentucky Derby?
“We wanted to name it something to do with the color blue, because the ocean is blue, even from space. In the end we settled on Whale Force and I think that’s just fine.” Continue reading US Announces ‘Whale Force’ Military Division
Garten has been raising her own humans for consumption in a coop next to her garden. Continue reading Chef Starts Cannibalism Diet Trend Across United States
