Trump Eats 17 McDonald’s Apple Pies for Pi Day

“Mr. Trump rationalized eating 17 apple pies before vomiting all over himself and his desk. It makes sense to us, but we don’t expect the mainstream media to get it.” – Sarah Huckabee Sanders

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Trail of Korean Water Ghosts is Closing in on America

“If all of this goes according to their godless plan, the Korean Water Ghosts will force us to follow their cultural views or be killed.”