After casting votes to oust Liz Cheney from her position of power today, House Republicans immediately voted to send the representative off to a new re-education camp for Republicans who won’t completely back Donald Trump. Notably, the camp is run … Continue reading Liz Cheney Sent To Re-Education Camp To Learn How To ‘Reject The Evidence Of Her Eyes & Ears’
When asked if there was a plan in place if Donald Trump refuses to leave the White House after losing the November election, Washington D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser said that the city was already prepared for such a scenario. “Unfortunately, … Continue reading DC Prepared to Shut Off Utilities If Trump Refuses to Leave White House
Leaders of the United Methodist Church announced today that they’ve excommunicated all homophobic church members and clergy from the religious organization. “Followers who are concerned about what other people do with their genitals are welcome to start their own weird, … Continue reading United Methodist Church kicks out homophobic members for being “weird little bigots”
“Once I hit the 20-minute mark there was a turtle head poking out. Just in and out, in and out it went,” Francis gestured with his fingertip through an O-shape on his other hand. Continue reading Pope Francis pooped in an elevator today after being stuck in it for just 25 minutes
In response, Sam’s Club announced they will be selling “everything necessary to create an elaborate sex dungeon” by July. Continue reading Target Adds BDSM Section Next to Electronics
“It’s sad to think how much we could have achieved if we hadn’t installed so much BDSM programming.” Continue reading Mars Rover Found Dead From Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation
“When you get a maniac like Obama. Okay. And he is, he really is. Then you end up with days like today,” Trump stated while pointing toward the only side of the room without any windows. Continue reading Trump Blasts Green Energy, Obama for ‘Unseasonably Dark Day’
