After spending most of his Sunday morning trashing Pete Davidson on his Instagram account, Kanye West admitted that he was responsible for an airplane that was seen flying toward the Super Bowl with a “Fuck Pete Davidson” banner. Authorities say … Continue reading Kanye West’s Plane With ‘Fuck Pete Davidson’ Banner Diverted From Super Bowl Airspace
A heavily-armed state full of religious zealots known as “Texas” has passed a new abortion law that would pay $10,000 to anyone who reports their fellow citizens for having an abortion after 6 weeks of pregnancy. The new law, which … Continue reading Heavily-Armed State Of Religious Extremists Commands Citizens To Spy & Turn In Neighbors For Abortions
Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) is facing up to 5 years in jail for tax evasion after telling reporters today that he had “already paid taxes once before, so why would I pay them again?” When pressed for more information, Paul … Continue reading Rand Paul Says He Has ‘Immunity’ From Taxes Because He Already Paid Them Once Before
Matt Gaetz slipped up today when he asked a crowd of his supporters if he could have paid for sex using dandelions. The question came after Gaetz stated that it was ridiculous for Joe Biden to pick a dandelion for … Continue reading Matt Gaetz Now Wondering If He Could Have Used Dandelions To Pay For Underage Sex
In perhaps his boldest move in years, Russian president Vladimir Putin admitted today that he had placed a bounty on the heads of American troops in Afghanistan. The cavalier admission comes less than a day after Russia vehemently denied the … Continue reading Putin Confirms Bounty on US Troops, Says ‘America’s Orange Puppet Won’t Do Shit’
“Lindsey Graham was, hands down, easily the weirdest sex I have ever had.” Continue reading Lindsey Graham ‘Moans Like Mickey Mouse’ Several Gay Escorts Confirm
After being called out on social media for having small crowds, paid attendees, and empty seats at rallies, the Trump reelection campaign has taken to filling seats with additional dummies. “This is a smart move by the Trump campaign; matching … Continue reading Trump fills empty seats at rallies with additional dummies
“We’re giving new mothers 24 hours off, 8 of which will be paid. That leaves plenty of time for doing Kegels.” Continue reading Louisiana Governor Proposes 24-Hour Paid Maternity Leave
