Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) is facing up to 5 years in jail for tax evasion after telling reporters today that he had “already paid taxes once before, so why would I pay them again?”

When pressed for more information, Paul starting arguing that he has “immunity from any and all charges” because of the fact that he paid taxes in 1981 when he was audited.

“I got hit by the IRS back when I was 18 for not paying taxes and I thought that was it,” Paul stated. “You know. A one and done kind of situation.”

Authorities have already started removing furniture from Paul’s home and are garnishing the Senator’s wages, including money he received from a settlement after his neighbor understandably kicked his ass.

As of press time Rand Paul was still only the second worst Senator from Kentucky after Mitch McConnell.