Brittney Griner Forced To Stand For 10 National Anthems, Say 25 Pledges of Allegiance & Announce That ‘All Lives Matter’ Before Every WNBA Game In Exchange For Freedom

Republicans refused to cooperate with President Biden’s attempts to free WNBA star Brittney Griner from Russian prison until he agreed that she will be required to stand for 10 national anthems, say 25 pledges of allegiance, and announce that “All … Continue reading Brittney Griner Forced To Stand For 10 National Anthems, Say 25 Pledges of Allegiance & Announce That ‘All Lives Matter’ Before Every WNBA Game In Exchange For Freedom

Melania Trump Cries Tears Of Joy After Learning Prenup Doesn’t Require Prison Visits

Melania Trump says she cried uncontrollably Thursday night after she read all 157 pages of her prenuptial agreement and realized that she will ever have to visit Donald once he goes to prison. When reached for comment, the former first … Continue reading Melania Trump Cries Tears Of Joy After Learning Prenup Doesn’t Require Prison Visits

Aging Joe Exotic To Be Put Down & Buried Behind Jail To Make Room For Younger, Healthier Inmates

Jailed business man and entertainer Joe Exotic of “Tiger King” fame is set to be executed and buried behind the jail he has been incarcerated in next week. The decision to kill him was issued by a federal judge during … Continue reading Aging Joe Exotic To Be Put Down & Buried Behind Jail To Make Room For Younger, Healthier Inmates

Just one more and then ill stop sweaty matt gaetz whispers before sending venmo payment

‘Just One More & Then I’ll Stop’ Sweaty Matt Gaetz Whispers To Himself Before Pressing Pay On Venmo

After realizing that his Republican colleagues were not going to do anything to stop him, a nervous Matt Gaetz worked up the courage today to send a $900 Venmo payment to his longtime friend and fellow alleged sexual predator Joel … Continue reading ‘Just One More & Then I’ll Stop’ Sweaty Matt Gaetz Whispers To Himself Before Pressing Pay On Venmo

Ghislaine Maxwell ‘Accidentally Lobotomized’ Just Hours Into Her Lock Up

Jeffrey Epstein’s former right hand woman, Ghislaine Maxwell, who is accused of helping Mr. Epstein sexually abuse countless girls as young as 14, was accidentally lobotomized at the Merrimack County Jail today. The tragic mishap took place when Maxwell’s files … Continue reading Ghislaine Maxwell ‘Accidentally Lobotomized’ Just Hours Into Her Lock Up

MLB releases hundreds of players from prison after league-wide decision to stop incarcerations for positive THC tests

Major League Baseball released 257 players from prison who were serving time for positive THC tests. The move comes after the league and player’s union decided jointly that they would no longer test players for the substance. What do you … Continue reading MLB releases hundreds of players from prison after league-wide decision to stop incarcerations for positive THC tests