The New Apple Pro Display XDR Comes in 127 Parts, Each Sold Separately

YouReadyGrandma

“In one of the 127 boxes customers will find a serial number,” Cook stated. “That is the number they will enter online; unlocking the ability to purchase the instruction manual for putting the device together.”

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Apple Releases iPhone Rotary with Real Crank-Dialing and Switchboard Operators

YouReadyGrandma

“Apple fans will buy it because they are, without a doubt, the biggest consumer whores on the planet,” CEO Tim Cook stated.

Tim Cook Swallows an Entire iPhone XS Max to Prove It’s Environmentally Friendly

YouReadyGrandma

“I’m sorry. I didn’t get that,” Siri apologized as a wide-eyed Cook choked on a chunk of the XS Max.

Bill Gates Stars as Catwoman in Highly-Anticipated Film

YouReadyGrandma

“Gates oozes with a sultry sex appeal that culminates in a passionate, 12-minute lovemaking scene with the masked hero Batman who is played by Apple CEO Tim Cook.”

FaceTime Bug Causes Small Wormholes to Appear & Suck Up iPhones, Nearby Objects

YouReadyGrandma

“Simply put, Apple has accidentally created a shortcut through spacetime.”

New iPhone Application Encourages Users to Drive Drunk

YouReadyGrandma

“You are swerving,” the program warns, ” try closing one eye.”

Additionally, there are several celebrity voice options to choose from, such as: Mel Gibson, Betty White, and Lindsey Lohan, to name a few.

While driving, your phone will tell you how many miles you have left to your destination, all the while, reciting