Those wanting the new Apple Card will begin their contracts $2,000 in debt as the credit card is the first to require a starting balance. Savvy consumers will have the option to purchase an upgrade chip that lowers their APR … Continue reading New Apple Card costs $2000, has an optional add-on chip to lower APR by 1%
“In one of the 127 boxes customers will find a serial number,” Cook stated. “That is the number they will enter online; unlocking the ability to purchase the instruction manual for putting the device together.” Continue reading The New Apple Pro Display XDR Comes in 127 Parts, Each Sold Separately
“Apple fans will buy it because they are, without a doubt, the biggest consumer whores on the planet,” CEO Tim Cook stated. Continue reading Apple Releases iPhone Rotary with Real Crank-Dialing and Switchboard Operators
“I’m sorry. I didn’t get that,” Siri apologized as a wide-eyed Cook choked on a chunk of the XS Max. Continue reading Tim Cook Swallows an Entire iPhone XS Max to Prove It’s Environmentally Friendly
“Gates oozes with a sultry sex appeal that culminates in a passionate, 12-minute lovemaking scene with the masked hero Batman who is played by Apple CEO Tim Cook.” Continue reading Bill Gates Stars as Catwoman in Highly-Anticipated Film
“Simply put, Apple has accidentally created a shortcut through spacetime.” Continue reading FaceTime Bug Causes Small Wormholes to Appear & Suck Up iPhones, Nearby Objects
“You are swerving,” the program warns, ” try closing one eye.”
Additionally, there are several celebrity voice options to choose from, such as: Mel Gibson, Betty White, and Lindsey Lohan, to name a few.
While driving, your phone will tell you how many miles you have left to your destination, all the while, reciting Continue reading New iPhone Application Encourages Users to Drive Drunk
