Tag: comedy

Food, Politics, Religion, WarLeave a comment
Israeli palestinian conflict ice cream

Ben & Jerry’s To Release New Israeli-Palestinian Conflict Ice Cream That’s Just Chocolate & Vanilla That Refuses To Mix

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Known for dabbling in politics, ice cream company Ben & Jerry’s is set to release a new ‘Israeli-Palestinian Conflict’ flavor that’s just chocolate and vanilla that is impossible to mix together. “What you’re basically getting here is the choice to … Continue reading Ben & Jerry’s To Release New Israeli-Palestinian Conflict Ice Cream That’s Just Chocolate & Vanilla That Refuses To Mix

election, Election 2020, PoliticsLeave a comment

Laughable Third Party Candidate Hasn’t Even Been Accused of Sexual Assault

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Congressman Justin Amash, a Republican-turned-independent from Michigan, took heat upon announcing his presidential bid after it was revealed that he has yet to be accused of any form of sexual misconduct. The revelation that Amash may be an unquestionably innocent … Continue reading Laughable Third Party Candidate Hasn’t Even Been Accused of Sexual Assault

Donald Trump, Entertainment News, Melania Trump1 Comment

Melania Trump One Year Closer to Aging Out of Marriage Contract

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Melania Trump celebrated her 50th birthday today, bringing her one year closer to being released from the marriage contract she signed with husband Donald Trump in 2005. The First Lady, who inked a 20-year agreement with the president, is now … Continue reading Melania Trump One Year Closer to Aging Out of Marriage Contract

Coronavirus, Entertainment NewsLeave a comment

Stir Crazy Archeologist Digs Up All of the Flooring in His House

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(Grand Forks, North Dakota) Local man and archeologist Daniel Radsky finally cracked today and began digging up his flooring after giving in to a stir crazy madness caused by sheer boredom. “In retrospect, I should have focused on the basement,” … Continue reading Stir Crazy Archeologist Digs Up All of the Flooring in His House

Abortion, Coronavirus, U.S. NewsLeave a comment

Pro Lifers Chant ‘My Body, My Choice!’ While Spreading COVID-19, Killing Others

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Swarms of conservatives surrounded Pennsylvania’s capitol building in Harrisburg today while chanting the popular pro-choice phrase “My body, my choice!” all while ignoring social distancing rules and undoubtedly spreading the coronavirus to one another. With rallies like this taking place … Continue reading Pro Lifers Chant ‘My Body, My Choice!’ While Spreading COVID-19, Killing Others

Disney, Entertainment News, TelevisionLeave a comment

Bill O’Reilly’s Rendition of “Song of the South” on ABC’s Disney Family Singalong Stirs Outrage

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ABC’s Disney Family Singalong was full of stars singing and dancing to classic Disney hits, but a one-off appearance by Bill O’Reilly left many viewers outraged as the right wing political pundit belted out an abbreviated version of “Song of … Continue reading Bill O’Reilly’s Rendition of “Song of the South” on ABC’s Disney Family Singalong Stirs Outrage

Coronavirus, Health & Wellness, Healthcare, U.S. NewsLeave a comment

Study: More Americans Drown in Swimming Pools Last Year Than Have Ever Received Useful Advice From Dr. Phil

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An in-depth study by the University of California-Berkeley revealed today that the number of Americans who drown in a swimming pool last year far surpassed the amount of people who have ever received any helpful advice from Dr. Phil. “In … Continue reading Study: More Americans Drown in Swimming Pools Last Year Than Have Ever Received Useful Advice From Dr. Phil

Coronavirus, Entertainment NewsLeave a comment

Could Something in Your Pantry Kill You? This Man Will Find Out Tonight by Eating Everything in There!

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It’s true that we’re surrounded every day by items and objects that could kill us, but are there things lurking in your pantry that could also kill you? Yes. The answer is yes. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE DON’T … Continue reading Could Something in Your Pantry Kill You? This Man Will Find Out Tonight by Eating Everything in There!

Coronavirus, Entertainment News, WarLeave a comment

Bored Town Celebrates WWII Vet’s 103rd Birthday Despite Not Knowing Which Side He Fought On

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Looking for something to do during the coronavirus pandemic, the town of Sherman Falls, Michigan threw a birthday parade for local resident and 103-year-old WWII veteran Hanz Richter today despite having no idea which side he fought on. Residents say … Continue reading Bored Town Celebrates WWII Vet’s 103rd Birthday Despite Not Knowing Which Side He Fought On

Coronavirus, Health & Wellness, Healthcare, U.S. NewsLeave a comment
CDC Get Used to Walking Around in One of These

CDC: ‘Get Used to Walking Around in One of These Fucking Things’

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The Center for Disease Control announced today that they will be coordinating efforts to get every American citizen a huge, inflatable bubble suit. The head of the CDC, Robert Redfield, spoke briefly on the decision. “Sure doors will have to … Continue reading CDC: ‘Get Used to Walking Around in One of These Fucking Things’

election, Election 2020, Pete Buttigieg, PoliticsLeave a comment

Pete Buttigieg Gives Presidential Acceptance Speech After Learning He’s Polling Second in Nevada Primary

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Presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg took to the stage at his Genoa, Nevada rally today having just learned he was polling in second place for the state’s upcoming February 22nd primary. The jubilant Mayor of South Bend, Indiana then inexplicably launched … Continue reading Pete Buttigieg Gives Presidential Acceptance Speech After Learning He’s Polling Second in Nevada Primary

Health & Wellness, Healthcare, U.S. NewsLeave a comment

“Please Stop Rubbing Your Eyeballs Together,” WHO Pleads as Coronavirus Spreads

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Leaders at the World Health Organization (WHO) pleaded with people across the globe today to stop rubbing their eyeballs together. WHO says the act is the fastest and easiest way to spread the coronavirus. “It’s common practice in many parts … Continue reading “Please Stop Rubbing Your Eyeballs Together,” WHO Pleads as Coronavirus Spreads

Hillary Clinton, Impeachment, PoliticsLeave a comment

Buckle the Hell Up: Democrats Prepare to Impeach Trump a Second Time (and it’s gonna take a lot longer)

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After Republicans blocked witnesses and evidence in the Democrat’s first attempt at impeaching the president, Nancy Pelosi now says they will have to go ahead and impeach Donald Trump for a second time in order to tell the public the … Continue reading Buckle the Hell Up: Democrats Prepare to Impeach Trump a Second Time (and it’s gonna take a lot longer)