5 Things Rural Americans Can Do While They Wait For Netflix™ To Buffer

There are plenty of ways to pass the time in rural America while you wait for your streaming services to buffer – and none of them will break the bank! These cheap, tried and true solutions can be a great … Continue reading 5 Things Rural Americans Can Do While They Wait For Netflix™ To Buffer

Unruly Conservatives Will Get Tased Mercilessly & Without Warning On Spirit Airlines

Unruly Conservatives Will Be Tased ‘Mercilessly & Without Warning’ On Spirit Airlines

Reports of an extreme uptick in unruly behavior by conservative passengers has prompted Spirit Airlines to announce that they are now supplying crew members with tasers. “In an average year, there are around 100 to 150 cases of bad passenger … Continue reading Unruly Conservatives Will Be Tased ‘Mercilessly & Without Warning’ On Spirit Airlines

Local Man Who Can ‘Totally Outpitch’ 79-Year-Old Fauci Somehow Can’t Handle Players Kneeling

(Buffalo, New York) Local man Bryan James, who proudly announced from the couch today that he could outpitch 79-year-old Dr. Fauci, somehow couldn’t find the strength to watch as members of the Yankees and Nationals took a knee before today’s … Continue reading Local Man Who Can ‘Totally Outpitch’ 79-Year-Old Fauci Somehow Can’t Handle Players Kneeling

Chase Rice Fans Reassured That Bleeding From the Ears is Not a Symptom of COVID-19

Chase Rice concert-goers were given the rare chance to be literal diehard fans over the weekend as the popular country singer decided to play a crowded show in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic. Seconds into the start of the … Continue reading Chase Rice Fans Reassured That Bleeding From the Ears is Not a Symptom of COVID-19

Patriots caught filming Bengals sideline in order to learn how to never be as bad as Bengals

New England Patriots videographer Brian Stewart was caught filming the 1-13 Cincinnati Bengals’ sideline today in an effort to learn how the Bengals could possibly be so bad. “There’s nothing to learn from the Bengals other than what not to … Continue reading Patriots caught filming Bengals sideline in order to learn how to never be as bad as Bengals

Producer struggling to make Friends reunion special as shitty as original

Executive Producer Kevin Bright says he’s having an impossible time trying to recreate the original unwatchable-ness of the inexplicably popular sitcom Friends. “The show’s popularity was based solely on its blatant mediocrity,” Bright stated. “I can’t, in good conscience, bring … Continue reading Producer struggling to make Friends reunion special as shitty as original