(Altoona, PA) Local man Dan Stephenson – whose entire family is under quarantine – dug up his old house floor plan in order to show his increasingly bored family all of the possibilities for where they can go this weekend.

“We’ve got the living room where we can all gather to play board games,” Stephenson stated. “Then, just 100 feet down the hall, there’s the master bedroom where mommy and daddy will spend 12 loud minutes rekindling their love life. There’s really something for everyone.”

As of press time, the recently unemployed Stephenson was visiting his back porch, on his 7th beer, and wondering if he’ll ever be able to afford to take his family on a real vacation.