The jobs report is in and unemployment has dipped to 3.5% after over 225,000 Americans finally made the dream of owning and operating their very own Etsy shop a reality. What do you think? Continue reading Unemployment plummets as thousands of Americans finally open up that Etsy store they’ve been talking about
Big box stores, retail chains, and malls across the United States are calling Black Friday 2019 a “total and compete failure” after learning that no shopper or employee deaths have taken place. “We had 11 deaths in the past 12 … Continue reading Black Friday 2019 deemed a failure after stores report zero deaths
With the announcement of the 26th Annual Darwin Awards, Donald Trump has found himself on the winner’s list. The leader of the free world tweeted about his accomplishment. Notably, Darwin Award winners are required to be sterile, display an astounding … Continue reading President Trump brags about winning a Darwin Award
A Georgia judge appointed by President Obama has ruled that the state can print their 2020 ballots in Russian. The ruling also struck down the use of archaic voting machines. “Since our electronic voting system is atrociously outdated and incredibly … Continue reading Georgia judge will allow 2020 ballots to be printed in Russian
“The Washington Redskins select any Native American. That’s right. Any. Just send anyone, but preferably someone athletic or okay with doing commercials.”
Continue reading Washington Redskins Justify Keeping Name in 2019 by Drafting a Native American in the First Round
Early reports confirm Trump stars in the film as Ronald Klump, an “incredibly-relatable, African American Trump supporter who ventures on a mission to get Mexico to pay for the wall.” Continue reading Trump to Play Blackfaced ‘Ronald Klump’ Alongside Kanye West in Summer Blockbuster Movie
