Tag: Karen
Fauci Warns ‘It’ll Be Harder To Spot The Assholes’ As Mask Mandates Are Lifted
Dr. Anthonoy Fauci released a statement today warning Americans that as mask mandates are lifted “it will become harder and harder to spot the assholes in a crowd.” “Watching people scream in public and refuse to wear masks will soon … Continue reading Fauci Warns ‘It’ll Be Harder To Spot The Assholes’ As Mask Mandates Are Lifted
McDonald’s Announces the All-New McKaren Sandwich
It’s here! McDonald’s has announced their all-new McKaren sandwich. The fast food chain says the new food option is guaranteed to be ready in 30 seconds or less, in store, or it’s free. “As a tribute to all Karens, the … Continue reading McDonald’s Announces the All-New McKaren Sandwich
Chloroform Drug Trials Prove Successful in Subduing Those Refusing to Socially Distance
Researchers are reporting that early trials with the drug chloroform have been successful in preventing the spread of COVID-19 by people refusing to follow social distancing rules. “The scientific community is optimistic that chloroform can help to subdue people who … Continue reading Chloroform Drug Trials Prove Successful in Subduing Those Refusing to Socially Distance
Karens Lose Control As Available Managers Become Scarce and Hair Salons Close
Unable to maintain their signature haircut or find a manager to demand to speak to, Karens everywhere have completely lost control of the only aspects of their lives they ever had a handle on. “It’s bad out there folks. Karens … Continue reading Karens Lose Control As Available Managers Become Scarce and Hair Salons Close
Council of Susans & Karens Demands Meeting With Heads of Norton, McAfee
Livid with the inadequate response to the coronavirus, the Council of Susans & Karens – a highly organized group of unreasonably entitled and incomparably misguided people – began demanding to speak with the CEOs of the Norton and McAfee antivirus … Continue reading Council of Susans & Karens Demands Meeting With Heads of Norton, McAfee
Tropical Storm Karen upgraded to category ‘I Demand to Speak to the Manager’ hurricane
Tropical Storm Karen was upgraded from an ‘Unreasonable Twat’ to a category ‘I Demand to Speak to the Manager’ hurricane this morning. Experts monitoring the storm say they expect to see Karen intensify into a devastating ‘She Took the Kids.’ … Continue reading Tropical Storm Karen upgraded to category ‘I Demand to Speak to the Manager’ hurricane
Oblivious Mike Pence Wears Furry Tail to CPAC
An attempt to clue the Vice President in using his teleprompter backfired; resulting in Pence aggressively shouting “There’s a tail sticking out of your ass” in the middle of an impassioned speech on moral decay in America. Continue reading Oblivious Mike Pence Wears Furry Tail to CPAC
Mike Pence Banned From Grindr
“Our first guideline for all users is that you cannot use nude photos in your profile, so that was strike one.” Continue reading Mike Pence Banned From Grindr