Tag: Grandma
‘My Christmas Tree Eats Popcorn Garland When Nobody’s Looking’ Still Not Concerning Enough To Put Grandma In $9,000 A Month Nursing Home
After a brief group phone call with closest relatives, the Zelinski family of Oakridge, Illinois decided today that Grandma’s new suspicion that her Christmas tree is slowly eating popcorn garland when nobody’s looking is not concerning enough to justify spending … Continue reading ‘My Christmas Tree Eats Popcorn Garland When Nobody’s Looking’ Still Not Concerning Enough To Put Grandma In $9,000 A Month Nursing Home
Olympian Who Accidentally Took Grandmother’s Medication Sets World Record For Slowest Bobsled Run
Ukrainian bobsledder Hilda Lunko set the world record for slowest bobsled run in the Olympics this past week after she accidentally took her grandmother’s performance destabilizing drugs shortly before the race. Lunko, who was the first Ukrainian female bobsledder to … Continue reading Olympian Who Accidentally Took Grandmother’s Medication Sets World Record For Slowest Bobsled Run
7 Sad Yet Easy Ways Poor People Can Keep Warm This Winter That Won’t Break The Bank
Freezing temperatures aren’t just nasty, they can also increase risk of death – something that only 47% of poor Americans welcome. Here are some sad, but easy ways to stay warm this winter that won’t break the bank. 1. Don’t … Continue reading 7 Sad Yet Easy Ways Poor People Can Keep Warm This Winter That Won’t Break The Bank
Grandma’s Food Coma Followed By Actual Coma, Death This Thanksgiving
(Brookfield, WI) After overeating during her Thanksgiving meal with lots of friends and family, Grandma Gertrude Sullivan will nod off in her comfy recliner for a few hours in a food coma; like she does every year. Just a few … Continue reading Grandma’s Food Coma Followed By Actual Coma, Death This Thanksgiving
Conservatives Looking Forward to Cackling Maniacally At Their TV Sets During the RNC
Republicans across the United States are excited to spend the next four nights cackling maniacally along with six Trumps and a handful of other speakers as they lay out their diabolical plans for the continued destruction of the country at … Continue reading Conservatives Looking Forward to Cackling Maniacally At Their TV Sets During the RNC
Coronavirus Gives Shitty Humans First Good Reason for Never Visiting Grandma at the Nursing Home
Grandmother who thought she rescued a dog lived with a furry for 7 years
An elderly woman in Madison, Wisconsin named Margaret Newsome unknowingly spent the last seven years of her life living with a human who was dressed in a dog costume. Newsome’s family, who never visited her, became suspicious when several furries … Continue reading Grandmother who thought she rescued a dog lived with a furry for 7 years
HGTV Star Candice Olson Reveals New “Toilet Room” Concept
“Having a room where everyone is encouraged to openly relieve themselves is a game changer. Period.” – HGTV Continue reading HGTV Star Candice Olson Reveals New “Toilet Room” Concept
Your Accurate Horoscope For Today
“Sagittarius (11/22 – 12/21) – You are feeling ecstatic and delighted inside – creating a real impact on those around you. Just go along with your…” Continue reading Your Accurate Horoscope For Today
Dear World, Everything is Going to Be Okay
“As a 77-year-old grandmother, I have seen a lot in my life…” Continue reading Dear World, Everything is Going to Be Okay
BREAKING NEWS: 4th of July Stunner
In a shocking turn of events, it seems that people are gearing up for the Fourth of July by doing the exact same type of shit that they did last year. The grills are out, the beer is somewhat cold, … Continue reading BREAKING NEWS: 4th of July Stunner