Empty Seats At State Of The Union Filled With Angry, Blow-Up Putins So That Biden Still Gets Exact Same Reactions

Democrats are filling the empty seats left open by Republicans for the State of the Union with blow up dolls that have angry Vladimir Putin faces taped to them. Notably, the large number of vacant seats is due to Republicans … Continue reading Empty Seats At State Of The Union Filled With Angry, Blow-Up Putins So That Biden Still Gets Exact Same Reactions

Due To Ruble Crash, Republicans Who Can’t Afford New Outfits Won’t Attend State Of The Union

Most Republicans in Congress have decided against attending today’s State of the Union. The decision came after they realized that – due to the Russian ruble’s drop in value – they’re suddenly broke and unable to buy new clothes for … Continue reading Due To Ruble Crash, Republicans Who Can’t Afford New Outfits Won’t Attend State Of The Union

Snowflakes Upset That Nancy Pelosi Tore Trump’s Speech Into Little Snowflakes

Countless Americans are up-in-arms after Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi took her copy of president Trump’s State of the Union speech and tore it into pieces. Pelosi says that compared to what the president has said and done that … Continue reading Snowflakes Upset That Nancy Pelosi Tore Trump’s Speech Into Little Snowflakes

Democrats Will be Testing Trump’s Grasp of Object Permanence Tonight by Bringing Real People to The State of The Union Address

“Now, when I place Sajid in a crouching position behind me I’ll look for a confused expression on the president’s face. Soon thereafter – and here’s where it gets interesting – Sajid will pop out from behind me and…” Continue reading Democrats Will be Testing Trump’s Grasp of Object Permanence Tonight by Bringing Real People to The State of The Union Address

President Trump Has Invited Nick Sandmann to Stand Six Inches From His Face at the State of The Union Address

“Nick will be up there competing for the same oxygen supply as the President for roughly an hour.” Continue reading President Trump Has Invited Nick Sandmann to Stand Six Inches From His Face at the State of The Union Address