(Orlando, FL) Disney World guests breathed a collective sigh of relief today as it was confirmed that the coronavirus would not be entering the gates of the world-famous amusement park. The news broke just moments ago when the virus itself … Continue reading Disney World to Remain COVID-Free After Virus Admits It ‘Can’t Justify the Cost of a Day Pass’
An industry-wide spike in the price of birth control has bumped the average monthly cost from $47 up to $125, forcing many women to have to choose between a pill that prevents pregnancy and a hideous article of clothing that … Continue reading A spike in birth control costs is hampering women’s ability to buy mom jeans
Notably, avocado pits are the perfect choking hazard for anyone that’s tired of living with their parents. Continue reading Millennials Celebrate National Avocado Day by Sucking On Pits & Skins From Dumpsters
“In one of the 127 boxes customers will find a serial number,” Cook stated. “That is the number they will enter online; unlocking the ability to purchase the instruction manual for putting the device together.” Continue reading The New Apple Pro Display XDR Comes in 127 Parts, Each Sold Separately
“This bendable phone comes with all of the same features as the Galaxy Fold, but the device can only be folded in half one time,” Samsung CEO Kim Suk stated. Continue reading Samsung Announces its Cheaper, Single-Use Galaxy 1-Fold
“Handies start at $18 and prices go up from there.” Continue reading Desperate, Unpaid Government Employees Shift to Sex Work, Drug Trafficking
Those who take prescription drugs made by Pfizer will not be able to notice the difference. Continue reading Pfizer Releases Pills that Slowly Deduct Money from Your Bank Account
