Spike In Michigan Football Players Having Unprotected Sex & STDs After Coach Says He’ll Raise Any Unwanted Babies

Reports are pouring in that University of Michigan football players are almost exclusively having unprotected sex ever since head coach Jim Harbaugh announced that he would gladly raise any of their unwanted babies. According to some players, Harbaugh was absolutely … Continue reading Spike In Michigan Football Players Having Unprotected Sex & STDs After Coach Says He’ll Raise Any Unwanted Babies

China Gives Olympic Athletes Condoms & Tells Them To Avoid Physical Contact Such As ‘Hugs, High-Fives & Handshakes’

The Beijing Winter Olympics is set to run under very strict social distancing rules in order to stop the games from becoming a super-spreader event. Because of this, athletes are being told to avoid hugging, high-fives, and handshakes at all … Continue reading China Gives Olympic Athletes Condoms & Tells Them To Avoid Physical Contact Such As ‘Hugs, High-Fives & Handshakes’

Congress will ban flavored condom sales as blowjob epidemic grows

Sucking on flavored condoms has made Mike Pence ill and killed at least six people after they choked on the prophylactics. In response, Congress is readying a ban on the tasty dick wrappers amid an unparalleled outbreak of safe oral … Continue reading Congress will ban flavored condom sales as blowjob epidemic grows