Would-be shoppers were suddenly unable to complete purchases from Amazon on Sunday night after an intern opened a phishing email from hackers. Sources inside Amazon have confirmed that the intern has been demoted to unpaid warehouse worker. “He opened an … Continue reading Hacked: Amazon Crashes After Intern Opens Phishing Email From Jeff.Bezos69@Amazon.net
CHARLOTTESVILLE, NC – Historians are calling into question the exact purpose of Confederate statues after a statue of Robert E. Lee cracked while being removed and pounds of Civil War era candy spilled out. Historian Debbie Arnato says it’s quite … Continue reading Intentions For Confederate Statues In Question After One Cracks During Removal & Candy Spills Out
Caretakers were forced to halt today’s impeachment hearings after countless Republican congressmen threw geriatric temper tantrums during opening statements. The outbursts began when, in a move of solidarity, the elderly men all removed their hearing aids and then refused to … Continue reading Madness: Impeachment hearings break for recess after hospice care workers lose control of Republicans
Now it’s possible to avoid having to pay a doctor for their time spent curled up on the operating table next to your barely-clothed, unconscious body. Continue reading Surgeons Will No Longer Be Required To Take Naps Halfway Through Operations
“I think that my aunt needing 57 stitches in the buttcheeks and rectal region is a strong selling point for the product.” – Kholer President & CEO Continue reading Demand for Structurally-Reinforced Toilets Spikes as More Obese Americans Poop With Their Smart Phones
Ginsburg didn’t know she’d broken her ribs until bruising showed through her tattoos. Continue reading Tenacious Justice Ginsburg Lands 720 Gazelle Flip With 3 Broken Ribs
Samsung Soft: Televisions You Can Beat the Living **** Out Of. Continue reading Introducing Samsung Soft: The Smart TV that you can Punch
