***BREAKING*** (Washington D.C.) The Republican National Committee is openly taking responsibility for the death of front runner presidential candidate Donald Trump. Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan, immediately spoke out about the decision to kill the candidate. “We feel a loss. There’s no doubt about it,” stated Ryan. “We have hundreds of thousands – millions […]
As the only news source to solely cover the Saturday Night Live skit – and the fact that Bill Clinton has lost it – the assumed Democratic frontrunner is condemning all news sources other than Fox News.
In his official comments on the passage of the new fence bill, Pence stated that this would it make a statement telling other states to “butt out of Indiana politics,” but also, it would “add hundreds of thousands of minimum wage jobs for the state and effectively negate the effects of major companies and events leaving or boycotting Indiana.”
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British Petroleum(BP), announced today that it could have stopped the massive oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico almost immediately, but they chose not to.
Michael Stedmier, head of BP public relations, released a statement today saying that, “Basically, none of this ever had to happen.”
Man versus Food has been cited as one of the main causes of death. A show in which one bloated, obese, and sweaty man stuffs his face with ridiculous amounts of food, often to the point of vomiting. One Zambian, Sonkwe Meluhli, has seen half of her family members end their lives.