BREAKING: Biden-Pfizer Deal to Mass Produce Personal Gaza Strips Ends Israeli-Palestinian War Permanently

In a move that has officially ended the Israeli-Palestinian War, President Joe Biden announced a groundbreaking deal with pharmaceutical giant Pfizer to mass-produce and distribute personal Gaza Strips to everyone involved in the conflict. Speaking from the Rose Garden, President … Continue reading BREAKING: Biden-Pfizer Deal to Mass Produce Personal Gaza Strips Ends Israeli-Palestinian War Permanently

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CNN Fires Rick Santorum After Realizing He’s Just A Half-Baked Ham Balancing On An Empty Suit

CNN cut ties with former political commentator and two-time failed GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum today after realizing that he was just a half-baked ham balancing on an empty suit. CNN, who had allowed Santorum to be on air since … Continue reading CNN Fires Rick Santorum After Realizing He’s Just A Half-Baked Ham Balancing On An Empty Suit

Impeachment probe ends as Trump preemptively pardons all Republicans

Impeachment probe ends as Trump preemptively pardons all Republicans

In a sweeping move, president Trump signed an executive order today that pardons Republicans of any and all crimes. The order, which also releases any registered Republicans who are incarcerated, completely exonerates any future wrongdoings by right-wing public figures and … Continue reading Impeachment probe ends as Trump preemptively pardons all Republicans