REDMOND, WA—Nintendo has announced their boldest game yet: Dr. Mario vs. Big Pharma, a high-octane spinoff where everyone’s favorite mustachioed plumber-turned-physician finally takes aim at the real villains—yacht-owning healthcare executives.

In this groundbreaking addition to the franchise, players will guide Mario through levels packed with greedy CEOs hoarding gold coins, charging jacked-up medication prices, and living on private islands bought with unpaid insurance claims. 

Armed with oversized prescription pills, Dr. Mario will rain pharmaceutical justice on these villainous bosses, whose yachts, helicopters, and offshore bank accounts serve as shields in increasingly absurd battles.

“This game really takes Mario to new heights—and by heights, we mean the penthouse offices of multi-million and billion-dollar CEOs,” said Nintendo spokesperson Luigi Goldman. “We wanted to combine the excitement of smashing Goombas with the catharsis of smashing corporate greed.”

Special features include:

• Power-ups like ‘Regulation Hammer’ and ‘Class Action Star,’ which obliterate golden parachutes.

• A Blue Shell of Accountability that locks onto the nearest private jet.

• Bonus rounds where Mario unionizes Toads to fight for better healthcare coverage.

The final boss, Chad “Golden Yacht” Greedington, awaits players in the game’s climactic battle, where his $200 million severance package must be slashed with precision strikes from a giant red pill of justice.

Nintendo expects Dr. Mario vs. Big Pharma to resonate with fans tired of overpriced medications and mountains of medical debt. “It’s not just a game—it’s therapy,” Goldman added.

The game launches next spring, just in time for tax season.