Those wanting the new Apple Card will begin their contracts $2,000 in debt as the credit card is the first to require a starting balance. Savvy consumers will have the option to purchase an upgrade chip that lowers their APR … Continue reading New Apple Card costs $2000, has an optional add-on chip to lower APR by 1%
“In one of the 127 boxes customers will find a serial number,” Cook stated. “That is the number they will enter online; unlocking the ability to purchase the instruction manual for putting the device together.” Continue reading The New Apple Pro Display XDR Comes in 127 Parts, Each Sold Separately
“Apple fans will buy it because they are, without a doubt, the biggest consumer whores on the planet,” CEO Tim Cook stated. Continue reading Apple Releases iPhone Rotary with Real Crank-Dialing and Switchboard Operators
“I’m sorry. I didn’t get that,” Siri apologized as a wide-eyed Cook choked on a chunk of the XS Max. Continue reading Tim Cook Swallows an Entire iPhone XS Max to Prove It’s Environmentally Friendly
“Simply put, Apple has accidentally created a shortcut through spacetime.” Continue reading FaceTime Bug Causes Small Wormholes to Appear & Suck Up iPhones, Nearby Objects
