United States Border Patrol informed reporters today that they have recovered a box full of highly-classified documents after former president Trump was spotted attempting to throw the object over the US-Mexico border wall. “It wasn’t one fluid motion when he … Continue reading Border Patrol Quickly Seizes Top Secret Documents After Trump Throws Them Over Wall
Emphasizing that they’re the perfect size and weight to throw at police officers, Donald Trump signed an executive order today placing a 10-day waiting period on the purchase of Bumble Bee tuna across the country. The new law also requires … Continue reading Trump Enacts Waiting Period, Background Checks on Purchase of Bumble Bee Tuna
(Buffalo, New York) Local man Bryan James, who proudly announced from the couch today that he could outpitch 79-year-old Dr. Fauci, somehow couldn’t find the strength to watch as members of the Yankees and Nationals took a knee before today’s … Continue reading Local Man Who Can ‘Totally Outpitch’ 79-Year-Old Fauci Somehow Can’t Handle Players Kneeling
Samsung Soft: Televisions You Can Beat the Living **** Out Of. Continue reading Introducing Samsung Soft: The Smart TV that you can Punch
