tesla driver hit by starlink satellite already dead from nueralink implant and car exploding

Tesla Driver Hit By Falling Starlink Satellite Was Already Dead From Faulty Neuralink Implant & Car Exploding, Authorities Say

Authorities have determined that the Starlink satellite that fell directly onto a Tesla in Riverside, California last week was not the actual cause of death for the driver. “After investigation it is clear that the sole passenger was already dead … Continue reading Tesla Driver Hit By Falling Starlink Satellite Was Already Dead From Faulty Neuralink Implant & Car Exploding, Authorities Say

Moderna to release new suppository for Americans afraid of needles

Moderna To Offer New Suppository For 20% Of Americans Who Are Afraid Of Needles

Moderna announced today that the pharmaceutical company was in the final stages of testing a new suppository for the approximately 65 million Americans who are afraid of needles (trypanophobia). Notably, during the study, scientists made the shocking discovery that the … Continue reading Moderna To Offer New Suppository For 20% Of Americans Who Are Afraid Of Needles

Kardashians void contract mostly plastic

Kardashian Contract Voided After E! Says Family Is More Plastic Than Human

E! cable network says the Jenners and Kardashians have voided their own contracts for Keeping Up With the Kardashians after recent surgeries resulted in the families being comprised of more than 50% plastic parts. “Our network signed a contract with … Continue reading Kardashian Contract Voided After E! Says Family Is More Plastic Than Human

President Trump’s thick butt-cheek implants are leaking lead into his bloodstream

Physician to the president Sean Conley revealed today that president Trump’s massive butt-cheek implants have been leaking lead into his bloodstream for months; maybe even years. “Symptoms of lead poisoning include learning disabilities, constipation, hyperactivity, and irritability,” Conley stated. “The … Continue reading President Trump’s thick butt-cheek implants are leaking lead into his bloodstream