BREAKING: Biden Makes Monday After Super Bowl A National Holiday

President Joe Biden has declared ‘Super Bowl Monday’ – the day after the big football game – a new national holiday. The decision was made when Biden read an article about the huge losses that companies already incur on that … Continue reading BREAKING: Biden Makes Monday After Super Bowl A National Holiday

Retired Pope Benedict breaks silence on blue balls, wet dreams in Church life, and nobody wants to hear it

Former Pope Benedict released his new book today entitled From the Depths of Our Loins: Silk Boxers & Swollen Balls. The book aims to educate the public on the sexual struggles that come with being a clergyman. What do you … Continue reading Retired Pope Benedict breaks silence on blue balls, wet dreams in Church life, and nobody wants to hear it

The Salvation Army says it’s donating pocket anuses to the Catholic Church to curb pedophilia

The Salvation Army announced today that they’ll be using $1.58 million in donations to purchase 100,000 pocket anuses for clergymen in the Catholic Church this Christmas. The charity says their goal is to curb pedophilia. “As far as we can … Continue reading The Salvation Army says it’s donating pocket anuses to the Catholic Church to curb pedophilia

The Vatican will release a new version of the Bible that aligns with modern science

Pope Francis announced today that the Vatican has created a completely new Bible that aligns with scientists’ current understanding of the modern world. The new holy book will be called the Jorge Mario Betgoglio Bible after the Pope’s birth name. … Continue reading The Vatican will release a new version of the Bible that aligns with modern science