Passengers Flying Delta Can Now Be Banned For Chronic Flatulence

YouReadyGrandma

If you have an upcoming Delta flight you had better get your Gas-X ready. The airline says it will now ban passengers from their planes if they ruin a flight with persistent farting. The move comes just one week after an elderly woman on a Delta flight from Atlanta to Portland caused several passengers and crew members to become incredibly nauseous. The airline says it will be adding an additional button next to the flight attendant call button that will allow passengers to simultaneously report and shame a farting traveler seated in their row. Advertisements

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A long, wet fart ended Trump’s mystery Walter Reed Hospital visit

YouReadyGrandma

Staff at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center have confirmed that president Trump’s unannounced visit last week was prompted by gas that caused the president to suffer from intense abdominal pain and cramping. “The president was in tears, inconsolable, and shouting ‘This is it! This is how I go!’” an anonymous hospital staffer confirmed. It took over an hour of shrieking and sobbing before the president finally let out a long, wet, squeaky fart – relieving most of his pain. “After his initial burst of flatulence, the gates were unlocked and the farts became frequent,” the staffer confirmed. “The noises were high-pitched and somehow sounded like they ended in a question mark.” Once the smell in the room became unbearable, doctors directed the president to walk the hospital grounds. Staff accompanying the president confirm that he continued to fart with every step he took for the better part of an hour.

Yale Study Says Farting Burns More Calories Than Working Out

“If friendship and odors don’t matter to you, then you could really get in great shape.”

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