Dating Apps, DMs Flooded With Hand Pics After Science Confirms Strong Correlation Between Finger Length & Penis Size

In a discovery that has completely reshaped online dating culture (and dramatically reduced unsolicited dick pics), scientists have revealed a simple test that may hint at a man’s… proportions. A study found that men with mismatched length index and ring fingers … Continue reading Dating Apps, DMs Flooded With Hand Pics After Science Confirms Strong Correlation Between Finger Length & Penis Size

CDC Get Used to Walking Around in One of These

CDC: ‘Get Used to Walking Around in One of These Fucking Things’

The Center for Disease Control announced today that they will be coordinating efforts to get every American citizen a huge, inflatable bubble suit. The head of the CDC, Robert Redfield, spoke briefly on the decision. “Sure doors will have to … Continue reading CDC: ‘Get Used to Walking Around in One of These Fucking Things’