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Trump to Declare National Emergency & Melt Down Statue of Liberty on Friday

A White House official has confirmed that President Trump plans to declare a National Emergency on Friday in order to both fund the border wall and melt down the Statue of Liberty to use as construction material. “The President is making a smart move here by using materials that we already have available to lower […]

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Democrats Will be Testing Trump’s Grasp of Object Permanence Tonight by Bringing Real People to The State of The Union Address

“Now, when I place Sajid in a crouching position behind me I’ll look for a confused expression on the president’s face. Soon thereafter – and here’s where it gets interesting – Sajid will pop out from behind me and…”