Pope Francis gave a Valentine’s Day sermon at St. Peter’s Basilica today in which he asked couples to welcome single people – especially strangers – into their bedroom. The surprising suggestion has many asking if the religious leader is doing … Continue reading Lonely Pope Encourages Couples to Invite Single People for a Ménage à Trois on Valentine’s Day
According to sources at Fox News, entertainer Tucker Carlson has spent the last few days disillusioned, crying and upset that the Mars company has made their green M&M character “less sexy” by swapping out her high heels for regular shoes. … Continue reading Tucker Carlson Livid That The Green M&M Is ‘No Longer Fuckable’
CHARLOTTESVILLE, NC – Historians are calling into question the exact purpose of Confederate statues after a statue of Robert E. Lee cracked while being removed and pounds of Civil War era candy spilled out. Historian Debbie Arnato says it’s quite … Continue reading Intentions For Confederate Statues In Question After One Cracks During Removal & Candy Spills Out
“It’s like an explosion of spoiled milk and beef jerky in my mouth!” Continue reading Planters re-releases original 1906 recipe of Warts & Peanuts for Halloween
The hair-covered confection comes with a prominent choking hazard warning as the company acknowledges that the hair can get lodged in the windpipe. Continue reading Cadbury releases hair-covered chocolate bar in recognition of furry pride
“We sell the meat to Taco Bell, send a bunch of parts to candy factories and use the rest to make high-end huffing glue.” Continue reading What Happens to the 19 Dead Horses After the Kentucky Derby?
