Despite deadly counter-charms and curses, another horcrux was destroyed by rioters in Minneapolis last night. Witnesses say that the horcrux, which was poorly disguised as the Third Precinct Police Building, tried to protect itself by […]
Scientists have discovered the oldest known material on Earth: a pubic hair that’s 7 billion years old. The finding is causing many scientists to rethink their views on religion. “Long ago this hair was most […]
“These little green guys don’t stand a chance,” Nevada Governor Steve Sisolak stated. “Us Nevadans don’t take too kindly to… let’s say… off-white beings. Once they cross that fence they’re going to get lit up like the 4th of July!”
The package was a 6 foot tall, gold-plated cube that weighed nearly 3.5 tons.