California has forced churches to start repainting statues of Jesus in which the religious figure is depicted with white skin. The move comes after a large group of leftist historians pointed out that Jesus couldn’t have possibly been white and that depicting him as such is insensitive to the accomplishments of other races.

“I never thought I’d say this, but I’m calling for all Jesus statues in our state to be given blackface,” California Governor Gavin Newsom stated. “Really any brownish tone is fine, so long as our Lord and Savior doesn’t look white.”

Meanwhile, many white people who had previously believed in and cherished the white version of Jesus have begun doubting the new, darker Savior’s storyline and intentions, causing Donald Trump to even suggest that Jesus might have deserved to be crucified.

“When you really examine the Bible like I have, it becomes clear that Jesus was an ethnic guy with the baggy robes, wandering the holy land – a great land by the way, and it’s just terrible what they’re doing to it. Terrible. But this Jesus and his gang of jobless men just went around stirring up trouble,” Trump stated. “We’ve got to start asking ourselves the tough questions – like did Jesus really cooperate with the authorities? And, unfortunately, I just have to call it like I see it folks. This Jesus guy was a thug.”