While celebrating her birthday today, rapper, singer, and songwriter Nicki Minaj turned around, bent over and farted on her birthday cake in an odd effort to blow out the candles. Minaj moaned as she let out a long, wet one and was successful in her first attempt to extinguish the flames.
“Blowing on a cake is a surefire way to spread Covid,” Minaj stated. “So I decided if people will eat my ass like romaine, then they’ll be fine eating farted-on-cake just the same.”
Experts stated that the chance of Minaj spreading Covid via flatulence was far less likely than if she had used her mouth.
“Although we’re all 100% certain that both her mouth and her ass are not disease-free, Nicki choosing to fart out her candles today was the right call since she said she absolutely had to extinguish the candles herself,” one expert confirmed.
As of press time, Minaj had gone ahead and sat right on the cake before insisting that guests at her party eat the food out of her Grand Canyon-esque butt crack without using their hands or utensils.
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This might seem plausible, except that methane is flammable. Flames extinguish farts, not vice versa.