U.S. Border Patrol announced today that they’ve purchased 5,000 brand new cages to keep children in after they are forcibly taken from their parents.
“It’s the humane thing to do,” Border Patrol Chief Carla Provost stated. “America can’t take in the tired, poor, huddled masses without somewhere to put ’em!”
When reached for comment a furious Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez expressed anger.
“These are dog crates from Walmart. The stickers are still on them!” Ocasio-Cortez shouted. “Several countries won’t even let owners keep their dogs in cages. Wake the fuck up America!”
Provost says that the cages were a smart buy for the Trump administration.
“We got a real deal here.” Provost stated. “40lbs of free Purina Puppy Chow per every 5 cages purchased. That’s food and shelter for these kids. A big win for everyone!”