Tag: quarantine
CDC to Quarantine Tulsa Rally-Goers Immediately After Trump Finishes His Speech
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced today that they will be detaining and quarantining all Trump rally-goers in Tulsa, Oklahoma immediately after the president finishes his speech. People in the building will have no choice in the matter … Continue reading CDC to Quarantine Tulsa Rally-Goers Immediately After Trump Finishes His Speech
Man Hasn’t Seen Bottom of Sink in Months
Photo Credit Steven Depolo Continue reading Man Hasn’t Seen Bottom of Sink in Months
Chloroform Drug Trials Prove Successful in Subduing Those Refusing to Socially Distance
Researchers are reporting that early trials with the drug chloroform have been successful in preventing the spread of COVID-19 by people refusing to follow social distancing rules. “The scientific community is optimistic that chloroform can help to subdue people who … Continue reading Chloroform Drug Trials Prove Successful in Subduing Those Refusing to Socially Distance
Wisconsin Supreme Court Suspends All Laws, Citing Infringement on Personal Freedoms
There are no laws in the state of Wisconsin anymore after a shocking 4-3 decision by the state Supreme Court found today that none of the state’s laws, or even the constitution itself, are constitutional. In the majority opinion conservative … Continue reading Wisconsin Supreme Court Suspends All Laws, Citing Infringement on Personal Freedoms
Could Something in Your Pantry Kill You? This Man Will Find Out Tonight by Eating Everything in There!
It’s true that we’re surrounded every day by items and objects that could kill us, but are there things lurking in your pantry that could also kill you? Yes. The answer is yes. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE DON’T … Continue reading Could Something in Your Pantry Kill You? This Man Will Find Out Tonight by Eating Everything in There!
Italian Cities Are Playing Nickelback in the Streets to Deter Citizens From Going Outside
Countless cities across Italy have taken to playing Nickelback in the streets to discourage their citizens from going outdoors. So far authorities say the drastic move has brought positive results. “We’re seeing folks staying home,” Italian President Sergio Mattarella stated. … Continue reading Italian Cities Are Playing Nickelback in the Streets to Deter Citizens From Going Outside
Germany Limits Gatherings to Two People With Blond Hair and Blue Eyes
In their latest move to combat the coronavirus, Germany has taken the most extreme measures to date by limiting gatherings to groups of two. “We are only pairing men and women with blond hair and blue eyes. No other congregating … Continue reading Germany Limits Gatherings to Two People With Blond Hair and Blue Eyes
Quarantine of All Olive Gardens Begins as Brand Overdoes Authenticity
The largest chain of Italian-themed restaurants in the United States – Olive Garden – has placed all 840 of its locations under mandatory quarantine after Italian Premier Giuseppe Conte put a lockdown on travel across the entirety of Italy. The … Continue reading Quarantine of All Olive Gardens Begins as Brand Overdoes Authenticity