Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has a fixation on mayonnaise (and mayonnaise sandwiches) that borders on insanity.












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I’m pretty sure that though Mitch is certainly part turtle, he is also grandmother to at least a dozen minions if not, well, al of us. I can’t think of him without picturing him in a light blue and white checkered bonnet . I don’t know if I’ve actually seen this in a photo or it came to me in a dream. Pretty sure he also featured a shell and four tiny, flailing legs. It’s so real, it can’t be my imagination.