In an inexplicably strange move that is raising eyebrows and spirits, McDonald’s has announced the newest addition to their menu: the Grandma McFlurry®, taking comfort food to a whole new level.

“This innovative dessert offers customers a unique way to remember their loved ones by blending their grandma’s ashes with an array of delightful flavors, such as the comforting crunch of Cookies & Cremation, the savory sadness of Vanilla Vigil, the rich and rewarding taste of Rest in Reese’s, the memorable flavor of Minty Mourning, and the ghostly-good Graveyard Grape,” McDonald’s CEO Chris Kempczinski smiled.

“At McDonald’s, Grandma can now be part of at least one more family meal, even though she’s no longer with us. It’s like a family reunion in every spoonful!” Kempczinski grinned. “We’ve made it possible for Grandma to be with you wherever you go. Well, for around 10 to 20 hours when Grandma inevitably passes again, this time via your rectal cavity.”

McDonalds is also selling little baggies that attach to toilet seats, letting you retrieve grandma’s ashes instead of rudely flushing them down the toilet.

“We encourage you to bring Grandma in to your local McDonald’s once again, this time in the McPoop Bag® and we’ll happily bake it into our all-new Bereavement Brownies®!” Kempczinski laughed before taking a bite of a brownie and then speaking with a mouthful. “We’ll even add nuts for free if there aren’t already some in there!”

“Deep down, I think we all want our grandmothers to live on and be inside of us forever,” Kempsczinski concluded. “The fact McDonald’s has found a way so that Grandma can go in and out of you over and over and over again is quite a stimulating concept and something that I think many people will surprisingly enjoy!”