Unaware of Coronavirus, Nickelback Continues Tour of Playing to Empty Stadiums

Completely oblivious of the Coronavirus, Canadian rock band Nickelback has continued the United States leg of their “All the Right Reasons” world tour as the typical crowd size of seven people hasn’t dwindled since the outbreak began. Public health officials who had advised the cancellation of concerts specifically stated that they will permit Nickelback shows to go on.

“Nobody will ever see a Nickelback concert as a possible public health hazard because they don’t have any fans,” CDC Robert Redfield stated, “We’ve confirmed that it’s just the tour bus driver, and a handful of the stage crew out there in the stands cheering the band on every night. It’s always been just them. In fact, if you want to be safe from the virus, one of the best places you could go is to a Nickelback concert, but I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.”

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88 thoughts on “Unaware of Coronavirus, Nickelback Continues Tour of Playing to Empty Stadiums

  1. What I don’t understand is: How can anyone be so clueless not to realize it’s a Satire piece. However one thing is true. As a deterrent for drunk driving , all police cars and paddy wagons are equipped to play Nickleback during the transport to jail.

  2. I don’t know much of their music and I’d bet most of their haters don’t. It has certainly turned into an old cliche. Everyone makes jokes about Nickelback but what about Tool?

    Their music keeps building up as if it’s supposed to take you somewhere and it never does. You feel like you wasted your life watching a movie that left you with nothing. Seriously, Tool sucks. They’re overrated. Way overrated.

    1. You people are clueless millennials, no really you are, there is absolutely nothing wrong with Nickelbacks music!

      1. no zurins right, MANY METALHEAD FANS
        who in the hell dont wanna be a rockstar ??

      1. And for people who otherwise listen to country music

    2. It’s definitely a thing to bust on Nickelback regardless of whether you like their music or not. There’s certainly a whole lot of music worse than Nickelback. But I really do find it bland. I also find it hilarious when people bust on them, although it really isn’t fair.

      As for Tool, I like them a lot. The musicians are all high quality, and the tone of the instruments is exactly what you would want from a band of the genre. However, I can’t listen to more than one or two songs of theirs without losing patience. You talk about how the music is supposed to take you somewhere? The place it’s supposed to take you is to another key. Nearly all Tool songs are in the key of D. If you think all Tool songs sound alike, that’s the reason why.

    3. It’s probably because you either don’t understand what they are saying or don’t take the time to what they say. Either way, not overrated,just your loss.

      1. I was speaking of Tool.
        Don’t know enough about Nickleback to comment.

  3. “Nobody will ever see a Nickelback concert as a possible public health hazard because they don’t have any fans,” CDC Robert Redfield stated
    Absolutely hilarious! I laughed so hard reading this I almost urinated on my Matchbox 20 collection

  4. Well I am a huge fan of Nickelback and I’m going VIP to their show at RedRocks in Sept. on the 1st I live on disability and I spent half my money on VIP ticket and I would do it all over again I’ve never understood WHY all the hate for them,🤔 JEALOUSY????

    1. I’m so glad the money you didn’t work for is paying for this.

      1. But I work for 44yrs for that money sorry to disappoint you but ha

      2. You are obviously clueless about disability and how it works. Someone has to work and can no longer work in order to be eligible. As well, it takes an act of congress to be approved for it. In other words it must be BAD in order to be eligible, and it takes 2-4 years before it possibly is approved. So that disability money was paid into for many many years before being drawn on. Just an FYI

    2. Did he say he didn’t pay in in his life.Don’t act like it’s your money alone.If you were disabled you would be on it getting what you played in .Hmmmm !

    3. HATER GOT TO HATE the explode into flames if they dont

  5. It’s quite cliche to hate on Nickelback. It’s kind of like a fart joke…you’ve heard it before, but you still laugh. That’s why inept comedians tell fart jokes.

      1. I would let all the Nickelback members fart in my mouth.

  6. Usually people who can play an instrument hate Nickelback. They are not a “musician’s band” by ANY means, I cannot think of a single fellow musician who likes them.

    1. This was a very rude statement and whoever wrote this is an asswhole. If i had money I would definitely go see them.

      1. I really love nickelback so whoever’s wrote this was very rude. You do not speak for me. I have never got to go see them but I would if I could. Hope they don’t read your hatred and take it to heart. They probably won’t because I think they know the truth.

      2. If you had money you could buy a dictionary and learn how to spell asswhole, asshole. #NicklebackSucks

      3. I agree I wonder what he sings and looks like let alone if he has any friends. What a loser. Nickelback use to be bad ass. I’d go check out a concert. Maybe it’s a sympathy stunt to get money tho. Watch out. What a rotten thing to say. Fired.. he just pissed all over your paper or magazine group. I’d stop following the bizness after this article

      4. It’s asshole. Unless you’re saying a whole ass I suppose

    2. Rockstar was ok , but , only cause my last name is Rock ! Sincerely, Joseph Rock

      1. That’s like me comparing Dust IN the wind to my name being “Dustin”..

    3. “Usually people who can play an instrument hate Nickelback. ”
      More accurately: “Usually people who jump on bandwagons and join in mob violence, hate Nickelback.”
      They’re tight, focused, excellent musicians, whose apparent offense is that they’re enormously successful and don’t apologize for it.

      1. Truth im 23 and think their great and when my friends are like laughing that i listen to them i just dont understand..

    4. “Usually people who can play an instrument hate Nickelback. ”
      More accurately: “Usually people who jump on bandwagons and join in witch hunts and mob violence, hate Nickelback.”
      They’re tight, focused, excellent musicians, whose apparent offense is that they’re enormously successful and don’t apologize for it.

      Having said that, I enjoy Nickleback jokes, including spelling it that way. I’ll bet the band does too.

      1. There’s probably a lot Justin doesn’t understand. Beginning with the difference between “there” “their” and “they’re”.

    5. yeah…how come they have made millios>

    1. thought you were talking about Creed from the office lol

      1. That would still be cool since Creed from The Office was the lead guitarist from The Grass Roots…I mean different genre but…

    2. I went to a Bon Jovi concert years ago and Nickelback did open for them! I thought it was great

  7. People who get mad @ Nickelback jokes 😂😂🤣

    1. This is the most pathetic piece of garbage I’ve seen in a long time. Damn good think I only skimmed a few sentences. What loser this guy is. Can’t believe there are still pathetic jealous losers still beating the dead drum that was “follow the others and dis nickelback cause I have no mind of my own people”

      1. I ‘dis’ nickleback not to jump on a bandwagon, but because they are a lowest common denominator, talentless, horse faced dog shit of a band.

      2. Nah… Nickel back’s music is mediocre at best, so it’s hard to believe that anyone would actually spend money to go see them. There is nothing special about their music… It’s definitely not rock music, which they like to think they are. Definitely canned pop music

      3. Not sure people understand the importance of Nickleback and Chad Kroger on the entire music industry. In every thing there needs to be a bar to judge the others by. The automobile culture has the Euro supercars, art has Picaso….you have to have a bar ton measure good and bad. Nickleback gives us that bar….it used to be Milli Vanilli and Right Set Fred…now it’s anything Chad Kroger does. Nickleback is an essential part of music, and learning what sucks and what doesn’t. Thank you Nickleback for sucking so well.

      4. Or people genuinely dislike them. If you like them fine, but not everyone does, and while that may be difficult to accept it is true.

      5. Good thing there are people who are aware that they have minds of their own and cheers to the ones who actually can think for themselves. Apparently they do have fans because the venue I am seeing them in almost all seats tickets have been sold out lawn only tickets left. So yeah and that is the case with all the venus that I have checked for tickets so no fans right whatever.
        We like what we like and dislike what we dislike and so it is what it is. Not everyone likes everything.
        This Virus is what’s keeping people away and if you dont like nickleback anyway no loss on you part anyway so move on to something more important to you not sure why this guy even wasted his energy making an ASS of himself.

    2. You do realize this is satire, don’t you?

      1. No, they don’t. That’s what’s funnier. lol

  8. Amazing show, from, how you remind me to someday, glad I made it. I love places without people.

  9. Haha! Making fun of Nickelback is eternal


  11. Just down right rude and wrong!!! Nickelback has alot of fans at concert venues are packed everytime they play!!!

  12. it’s 2020 and Nickelback sucks is still hilarious!

    1. All u pussies probably have no money .. no music employment…or maybe just no employment..Kroeger started with nothing and has 50 million bucks….He could afford to play to a crowd of seven while u couldnt draw a crowd of seven 😊

      1. Bro.. Do you even know who you’re typing at? I could easily get at LEAST 10 people. GTFOH

      2. Wow! So sensitive. So because other people don’t like music you like you decide to insult them instead of trying to understand what satire is. It seems that the “pussies” comment would be better applied to you.

      3. Everyone has they’re own tastes in music, people who get to see nickelback are lucky, i know several nickelback fans and hope the band sees this comment. Chad kroeger is awesomeness. Rock on .he brings a kick to badassery. …

    2. They are an amazing band. They have millions of fans. I bet u can’t hold a tune or play an instrument. Keep on with your jealous train!!

  13. I love Nickelback and would attend any concert that I could get to here in the US.
    This is sad. Their like my all time favorite.

      1. No life huh? Must be why you attend Nickelback concerts.

      1. Give Nickelback credit…they created a new genre of music…..’Ballad Bands”.

      2. It’s “Learn grammar!!!” They typed in English just fine. Makes you look just as stupid. 🙂

    1. You do know that this is a satirical article, don’t you?!? (P.S. It’s “they’re.”)

    2. They’re= they are. Their = belonging to them.

  14. Wow really Nickelback jokes it’s 2020 lol gets some new material

    1. Unfortunately Nickelback jokes are just like Nickelback, they never go away.

      1. Personally, I’m not a Nickleback fan. But, for the life of me I cannot understand the abject hatred for the band or its fans. You don’t like them? Don’t listen to them. It seems easy.

        That said, the article was a little amusing.

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