Tag: Coronavirus
“Please Stop Rubbing Your Eyeballs Together,” WHO Pleads as Coronavirus Spreads
Leaders at the World Health Organization (WHO) pleaded with people across the globe today to stop rubbing their eyeballs together. WHO says the act is the fastest and easiest way to spread the coronavirus. “It’s common practice in many parts … Continue reading “Please Stop Rubbing Your Eyeballs Together,” WHO Pleads as Coronavirus Spreads
Belle Delphine’s Bathwater Identified as Source of Coronavirus
Scientists at the World Health Organization (WHO) announced today that internet celebrity Belle Delphine’s bathwater was the initial source of the coronavirus. According to the cosplay star’s website, Delphine has sold her dirty bathwater to fans across the globe – … Continue reading Belle Delphine’s Bathwater Identified as Source of Coronavirus
Coronavirus: ‘Death jobs’ are coming to America, Secretary of Commerce says
Secretary of Commerce and ventriloquist dummy come-to-life Wilbur Ross publicly announced today that he prays the spread of the coronavirus will bring “death economy jobs” to America. “With the titilating prospect of the coronavirus becoming a global pandemic, citizens will … Continue reading Coronavirus: ‘Death jobs’ are coming to America, Secretary of Commerce says
British Airways will exclusively fly people infected with coronavirus to keep passengers safe
British Airways announced today that they’ll be denying all healthy passengers access to flights both to and from China. Instead, the company says it will offer flights exclusively to people infected with the coronavirus. “Our pilots, flight attendants, baggage handlers, … Continue reading British Airways will exclusively fly people infected with coronavirus to keep passengers safe
CDC: An ice-cold, refreshing Corona Light could make you immune to the coronavirus
The first case of the coronavirus has hit the US and the Center for Disease Control has partnered with Corona Light to raise a glass and some awareness. The two organizations say the cure could be as simple as drinking … Continue reading CDC: An ice-cold, refreshing Corona Light could make you immune to the coronavirus