Scientists at the World Health Organization (WHO) announced today that internet celebrity Belle Delphine’s bathwater was the initial source of the coronavirus. According to the cosplay star’s website, Delphine has sold her dirty bathwater to fans across the globe – most of which are gamers – for a whopping $250 a jar.
“What we have here is a situation in which a mutated form of gonorrhea has infected gamers across the world; causing flu-like symptoms,” WHO Director Tedros Adhanom stated. “Notably, this is the first know case of gonorrhea being spread by a large group of virgins.”