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Former President George W. Bush Rejected From Jury Duty

In a unique turn of events, former President George W. Bush showed up for jury duty in Dallas, Texas – proving that even past leaders of the Greatest Nation cannot slip past their civic duties. The 43rd President even took time to take several photos with other U.S. citizens who had been summoned.

Those who met Bush said that he was very lively and animated.

“When I saw him I immediately got excited and asked Mr. Bush if we could take a photo together,” stated Mickey Kinney. “But when I got close to him I noticed that he had white powder on his upper lip and that he reeked of whiskey.”

Kinney claims that when he told Bush about the white powder on his face that he just used his left pointer finger to “brush it around while sniffing deeply a few times.”

Another selected juror, Desyrea’ Brandt, also reported that Bush was very friendly and fun.

“He was bubbling with energy. When I asked to also take a photo with him he said ‘fuuuuck yaaasssss!’ and then proceeded to flip off the camera while grinning. It was like, weird, but cool, I guess,” said Brandt.

When reached for comment as to why former President Bush was rejected for jury duty, an anonymous representative of the George Allen courthouse in Dallas stated that there were several reasons.

“Well, for starters he was uncooperative, swearing, and visibly intoxicated – likely more than just drunk,” stated the rep. “Also, when we got in to the main room and everyone sat down he started mocking the Black Lives Matter movement and making hurricane Katrina jokes.”

Other than being extremely drunk and racist, many Americans regard the former president’s appearance for jury duty as being a noble and uplifting gesture that truly humanizes him and perfectly depicts him as the role model and leader that we elected twice.

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